I Am My Own Hero by Mindy Love

I am inspired and impressed the fuck out of myself for many reasons. I’ve endured neglect, abuse, turmoil, and devastation. I’ve wanted to quit at least a few dozen times, but I didn’t. I learned how to rest, process my feelings, phone a friend, and keep on truckin’.

There was a time that the weight of everyday life was crushing my soul and my physical body. I wanted the pain to stop. Who wouldn’t??? But it didn’t stop. The more I tried to run from it…the more it lingered.

It increased, actually.

I fell on my knees many days from the pain on the inside and let out a moan. I cried uncontrollably. I was inconsolable. I was alone. I was broken into a million pieces and I was afraid. I couldn’t comprehend the why with any of it

All I knew is I wanted love. I wanted to be loved so badly. The hole in my heart was pulsing nonstop with blood overflowing everywhere with this emotional pain. The sadness continued.

I was lost and confused. I wanted a magic wand to fix this. To accept no fairy god mother was coming, was a huge challenge. I was in a dark place and drowning. It was hard to come up for air.

Little by little I broke free. Like an inch worm, I made the journey slow and steady. A little healing came here and there, then a set back, and then another bit of healing. Fear began to dissolve at the speed of a sloth.

After 1,000 days, I felt different in mind, body ,and spirit. I stood taller. No longer afraid to take up space and hear my own voice.

I began to smile from the inside out. No more fake smiles. I grew confident. I learned my strengths and my weaknesses. I transformed before my own eyes. I broke the chains off. I did the inner work. I rose up. I was out of darkness and back into the light, where I had belonged all this time.

The journey felt long and dark and scary. I didn’t know all the things that would unfold, or where I’d end up. Honestly, I didn’t know that I could feel this good. How I am feeling right now. I didn’t know that self love, boundaries, and surrounding oneself with other women who empower you could be this good!

When I look back, I know I am no longer the same person. I have gone from caterpillar to butterfly.