Healing Power is within by Mindy Love
Healing really is like eating an elephant and throwing up when you get too much. It is best taken in baby steps. Its not a one way street or even a formula. It’s not one day or 90 days. It’s a journey. I like to think of it as finding a great pair of panties. One size does NOT fit all and it takes TIME and EFFORT to find what you really like.
Over the past three years here are some ways in which I personally found healing!
Talk therapy. For me, it started with talk therapy. I met with a counselor and she listened to me. I felt like I was getting no where. Come on lady, tell me how to fix my life already. As time went on…I began to see patterns inside myself and started to look into it more and more.
I learned what normal was and what abuse was. I learned what I needed and what I was lacking. I began slowly. I kept up with the counseling as a means of self care. It was my 45 mins to think about me and only me.
After some time in therapy, I learned how to feel my feelings. It was really hard to run away from them or sweep them under the rug, as I used to do. Now I am able to feel them, move through them, and help my kids do the same.
EMDR. After talk therapy, I added in EMDR. I was able to walk through some traumatic situations, relive them, and rewire the brain so that my body didn’t freak out anymore when I thought about it. It was intense, and took time to recover…but the results…magnificent!
During this time I also began massage therapy. I was able to go a few times a months. One of my favorite places is to be on a massage table. My body is 10/10 happy there.
Journal. I have always loved to write. I did many different types of writing exercises. Some of my favorites were writing down and event that happened to me followed by how I truly felt about it. And then I burned them. Lit that shit on fire and let it go. POWERFUL!
Travel. I took a trip for my birthday down to Florida. I went and saw the ocean for the first time. I met knew people. Got to peek into how they live their daily life. It was interesting. I tried new food. I met people from different cultures. I enjoyed flying on an airplane. I missed my kids terribly after 48 hours, but my body and mind had time to sit and relax. It was a special Birthday indeed.
Friends. Reconnecting with friends who had also been through divorce. They were a big support and understood my pain. I once drove 13 hours go see a friend I hadn’t seen in 13 years. It was incredible and eye opening.
Horse Back riding. I rekindled my love with horses. I began to tell myself YES about all the things others told me no about. I found a horse to ride for a year and half. I shared such love with him. He was great boyfriend really! My favorite kind. He was eager to please, and always available to give and receive affection. :) Getting back in the saddle literally led to a panic attack, however I was super proud of me when I used my coping skills, felt the feelings, walked myself through it and when I was ready….I jumped on that bad boy!
Horse Therapy and Brain waves. I heard about the benefits of horse therapy and brain wave machine so I tried both. I met some really cool humans and horses. Understanding that trauma actually causes physical changes to the brain was powerful. I made a lot of progress during this time and had great experiences. I must say old memories did surface. Many things I had blocked from childhood, I started to remember. It was scary at first. I had to remember to continue to plan fun things and not always therapy.
Opened My own Business. I pursued dreams I thought were dead. I started a cleaning business. Grew in every aspect of the word. I learned more about boundaries and communication.
Riding a Motorcycle. I’ve always been adventurous, but didn’t ride for a long time…being pregnant for a decade and all. I enjoy it immensely when out in the country.
Decluttering. I have always wanted to live clutter free. It’s a bit of a challenge when you don’t live alone. But, I went through all my own belongings. Let go of any and all things I didn’t love or use. Gave it a squeeze and “thank you for serving me” and sent it on its merry way. This moving of energy felt great every time and made more room for what i really wanted.
Dated myself. Taking myself on dates and being committed to myself was a special experience all in its own.
Dating my kids. Spending special time with each one. Taking them for coffee. Teaching my boys to open car doors and all the doors. Treating them with love, respect, and kindness so they know what to expect and how to act on a date. Eating out with them, playing board games with them, doing their hair, having spa days, building legos, cooking at home, waiting on each other, make overs and movie nights. We do it all!
Pottery. Pottery was one of those things I always to try. So I did it. I took a class. Learned there was so much more to it than I knew possible. I enjoyed meeting new people and throwing clay. I am a very tactile person and this met a need I had. I realized that I had expected to be great at something new and what I actually needed was to give myself grace when learning something new.
Boxing. I started a new hobby and sport. I had always thought I’d enjoy boxing and I do. Everything about it. Hitting the bag, ducking and rolling, punching. Being around other women with the same passion to keep moving and growing was healing in and of itself.
Wine Tasting. I had always like the way people looked when drinking wine. You know all fancy and all…so finally I made my way to a fancy winery and loved the ambiance. While I don’t love the taste of wine, I thoroughly enjoyed the experience.
Dated Others. Dating others can be another great way to learn more about yourself. You learn what you like, what you don’t like, and what you do want. You can try new things, learn about different lifestyles, and collect hilarious stories to tell when things don’t work out. ;)
Healing is a forever changing journey. I can’t tell you what tomorrow will bring, but for this I know for sure: Whatever comes my way….I will be okay. I am and will always be my own best friend. You can always start today.